I Box Dyed My Hair and Didn’t Lose My Shit

You read that right: I did, indeed, box dye my hair and no shit was lost in the process. Brain cells, though? The jury’s still out.

I thought I’d yield more results from Googling, “is box dying your hair bad,” but criticism was oddly slim—much slimmer than that which was bestowed upon me in my group chat and Instagram DMs when I announced that my next color sesh was to be orchestrated by yours truly.

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooo.”
“You’re gonna regret it!”
“Wait, are you MIXING those two colors?”

Women have this uncanny ability to slow motion dive between you and the poor beauty decision you’re about to make.

But between my two years as an unflattering blonde, procuring long acrylic nails, and maintaining a splotchy, bottled tan curiously deeper than the average Pennsylvanian in January, I somehow slip past beauty purists like a paraben-soaked burglar. Stop me, bitches.

I’m not going to give you the step-by-step of how to box dye hair because that’s irrelevant to literally anyone not box dying their hair in this very moment, which is probably… everyone. I will, however, give you the important takeaways:

1. When I go to the salon (Pileggi on the Square right off Washington Square Park), I request a dark, cool brown that isn’t black and won’t pull red. My colorists mix a 4 and a 5 (salon jargon) to achieve this rich ash tone. With that knowledge, I found L’Oreal colors 4A & 5A (A=ash) and mixed them accordingly. Research suggested mixing colors as a helpful way to get you closest to salon results.

   

    

2. This stuff smells hazardous. What I just put my hair through, I am not quite sure, but it can’t be good. I had to step out of my bathroom to breathe throughout the application so as to not fucking croak. 
3. I LOVE the results. My hair came out looking exactly the same as when I go to the salon. I paid $21 for two boxes of color, and I still have half of each left for my next dye in a few months. So at around $10 per dye, I saved about $90. I am done getting my hair professionally colored until further notice.

   

    

4. Beware: I have been told that box dying anything other than dark brown can be nightmarish. This turned out well because it is objectively the easiest option in at-home hair color.

So there you have it! I box dyed my hair without losing my shit and you can, too! Side effects may include a cushier bank account, gorgeous locks, and… asphyxiation.