New Year’s Eve is my favorite holiday.
Giving and receiving gifts is not my love language, so Christmas is a wash. I’d rather eat a taquito that’s hardened to a roller until 3 AM at a North Philly 711 than the sad culinary obligation that is Thanksgiving dinner. I’m not Irish. And I’ll take my fireworks in the form of a long kiss and my red, white, and blue on a vintage Tommy Hilfiger pullover.
I’m one of those non-committal people whose goals will always “start on Monday,” so you can imagine the yay, blank slate! excitement with which I approach a new year. I also like sequins and champagne.
All things considered, 2018 should have been the worst year of my life. My sister died of cancer. My best friend was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer that only affects 1 person per 1 million a year. I got scammed out of $4,000 to “fix” a car I never drive. I faced intense romantic stress. My finances were consistently messy. I tried to adopt the dog of my dreams, only to arrive at my appointment at the rescue and find out she was sent home with another person the day prior without so much as a phone call. And because of all that, I battled depression, lost friends, and gained weight. Yikes.
I could have crumbled under the weight of it all. I could have shut down and not left bed for months. I could have jumped in front of the subway one of the many times I envisioned doing so.
But I didn’t. I’m still here living and breathing with a plate of cucumbers to my left and an essential oil diffuser to my right, writing to anyone who gives enough of a shit to read my blog; and that, to me, is pretty special.
Instead I choose to bask in the goodness of 2018. I wrote two six-figure grants at work. I surrendered to creativity and launched my blog! I took a chance on love. I got my own dreamy studio smack dab in Center City. I realized and honored the differences between party friends and real friends. I went to three music festivals, including my first Coachella. I traveled to Nashville twice, Colorado, and Italy. I ate unforgettable meals. I wrote a ton. I read eight books (going to step this up!). I ran a lot of miles.
…now that’s a glass half full if I ever saw one.
With the new year underway, I’m ready to talk resolutions. Rather than writing specific goals (e.g. lose 10 lbs; save $X), I want to focus on a broader few that will lay the foundation to achieve those specifics. You feel me? Here we go:
- Make a decision on The Next Step
The Next Step refers to the massive question mark that is my future. I’ve thrown around a million ideas, like grad school to be a marriage counselor (the original plan), starting a whole new bachelors in foreign language (wut), moving to Italy and writing for a while (arrivederci, bitches), staying in my current field and looking for jobs out west (hang loose, losers), trying to go fully remote at my current job (please, boss), freelancing (hire me), you name it. My main goal for 2019 is to determine The Next Step and let every other career/place of living move follow. - Develop discipline
Discipline is something I really envy in those with a well-developed sense of it. Practicing discipline will help me succeed at health and wellness, reaching a decision on The Next Step, reading and writing more, becoming more mindful via consistent meditation, managing my time, and being present. - Seek peace
I’ve made many decisions in my life based on what I think I should do versus what actually brings me peace. I’ll buy the expensive thing rather than save my money, despite knowing financial stability is a big indicator of peace for me. I moved to a city despite the peace I find in natural spaces. I’ll hop on social media to distract myself from writer’s block despite the peace I derive from staying on task. I tried to maintain friendships with people who don’t reciprocate despite knowing there is peace in letting go. This year I want to focus on seeking peace from even the smallest daily choices.
I dub thee, 2019, Year of the Comeback. I’m losing the weight. I’m doing the things. I’m going the places. And as long as Zara can chill on the ABSOLUTELY UNAVOIDABLE sales, I’m saving the money. Cheers.