Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” If he only knew one day, some random blogger would apply his simple profundity to fashion…
Our self-talk often manifests sartorially. The words I use to describe myself—confident, multifaceted, colorful, young, sexy—guide my personal style. I like faux fur and loud hues. I wear crop tops in January. I tuck baggy grey sweatpants into purple leather ankle boots. Sometimes I’m trendy. Sometimes I’m classic. I spin the wheel of my eight personalities and let whichever I land on pick the Dia du jour.
That being said, I get tons of outfits sent to me (typically via Instagram DMs, photo tags, or texts) with some message of, “I could so see you wearing this.” It is always super flattering, though definitely just a sign that I’m on my phone way too much for people to have such an acute sense of my style. As the conversation continues, usually by way of my suggesting the messenger purchase the item or try the outfit themselves, they *almost without fail* drop the bomb—that one fashion phrase I want you to lose in 2019:
“I can’t pull it off.”
Gurl, no. Not in this house.
Much like I disagree with the concept of “leagues” in dating, I’m against imposing limitations upon one’s personal style. This should not be confused with dressing to your body, a confidence-boosting practice I wholly support, but rejecting certain pieces or looks as too daring for execution. It’s one thing to honor your taste and even have some kind of “uniform.” Feeling like yourself in what you wear is paramount. But when you sincerely like something and won’t wear it because you “can’t pull it off,” you miss the opportunity to embrace your versatility. I am here to tell you life exists on the other side of Banana Republic.
It’s common in the US for women to “tone it down” with age. As lifestyle factors come into play, like career, marriage, and motherhood, fashion takes a muted turn. Playful details ring childish or out of line, and there’s a heightened connection to the insistent vilification of women wanting attention. You might dote over she whose outfit commands a room, but nix the idea of replication for fear of appearing to try too hard or being unable to pull it off. I hate to break it to you, but life is too short to don nothing but cable-knit sweaters, skinny jeans, and neutral ankle boots. If something really grabs your attention, take that as your signal to try it. It will likely feel uncomfortable at first, but with consistent practice, you can break your patterns of predictability.
For all the time you spend admiring Instagram muses, you could be injecting creativity into your own look. Challenge your self-talk. Level up. And before you send me an outfit, remember that you, too, could pull it off.
